i don't know why i'm so afraid.
i'm afraid to jump up.

i'm scared to suck.

I know what a good scene should be and i'm scared of not meeting my own expectations.

you'd think i'd be over that by now.

right?


anyway, we talked about editing and stuff. about scene analysis and that was really interesting.

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commitment.
this is for the last rehearsa.

I went to do a scene with lindsey warren.

we got the suggestion of japan.

i became a japanese maid. we had a miscommunication game.

that was fun.

that was the first time in a really long time that i commited to a character. everything turned out alright.



things to work on:

Character developement.

Realism.

Fucking my fear.

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I sucked. Big time.
I talked about stuff in the future.


I knew from the moment I said anything that this scene wasn't going to work.


I denied an impulse.


I was going to go with a scene about me having a stomach ache because I had bad tiramisu.

But nope.

I chose the sucky one.


Things to work on:

Trust Self.

Character Developement.

Yes,and...

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entry number four
last rehearsal went well.

good.

now.


my fucking revelation.




Comedy is for being who are scared to be venerable on stage. People in improv say play fearless, and because improv is known for comedy(damn you drew carey) people go to that. Improvisers are usually funny people, so they don't mind freeing themselves to be funny. Yet, they are scared to be open. Scared to be honest. they're closed off from their venerability, so they cheapen things, and go to crazy funniness because it's comfortable.



Fuck that.


Free yourself.


Emote.

Get out your deepest fears on stage.

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second entry (after the show)
Well, we had our show tonight.

It went really well, I think. It wasn't the most satisfying thing ever. But really the only times I've been completely satisfyed doing improv is when at rehearsal we were doing really honest patient scenework.

Good things today:
I had strong characters and commited I think.

Bad things:
My scenework was a little rough.


Things to work on:
Give gifts.
Disposition.
Honesty.
Vunerability.
I need to forget how to do improv, and just connect with people.



Gift- noun. a piece of information that gives the scene partner knoweldge about their character, the situation, the relationship, your character, the location, or any other aspect of the scene.

Current Mood: crushed

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first entry.
Well, today was our last rehearsal before our show.

I'm much more accustomed to doing scenes. We are having a game show.


Games and scenes shouldn't be different. But they are. At least for me.

So I go on, expecting to do a nice slow patient scene. And it screws up the flow of the game. Games are supposed to be fast and furious and (gulp)funny.
And the fact i got a ticket today didn't help anything.

At all.

So tomorrow during the show, I'm making the most ridiculous wacky choices I've ever made. Will it be honest and slow? Probably not. But i'm going with the game of the show.


game- noun. something that all players have agreed upon keeping.

Current Mood: lonely

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